The Second Year

This time last year I was preparing for my first round of co-op and had no idea where my prospects would take me. I can say, co-op was certainly not what I expected. I'm still deciding if that is a good thing.

The fall semester was challenging. Trying to balance school, a part time job and the search for a coop made it one of the most challenging semesters yet. It stirred a lot of self-doubt from within. I was one of the last students in my year placed. I watched as, one after another, my friends and my peers each received a job. The placement process made me reconsider all the work I had done. Was I not good enough? If I hadn’t had a part time job, would I have spent more time on projects and would things have gone differently? How could companies just write me off without even meeting me? How did I need to alter myself or my portfolio to guarantee myself a job? I was jobless and worrisome going into winter break. Everyone reassured me that it would all work out, but I had been given no proof of that. Possibly, I had too much faith in the system?

A day before I left to visit my sister for winter break, I received a call from a Bilstein Shock Absorbers asking me to come in for an interview. The next morning, I interviewed before boarding a plane. Myself, and one other industrial design student, were eventually hired to be the first industrial design co-ops at Bilstein. The company was interested in incorporating design into their shocks and we were the trial run.

The spring coop term overall taught me a lot and challenged me frequently. I was constantly searching for direction that no one could really give. My partner and I were surrounded by engineers who were unaware of what we could do, to an extent, and we were tasked with finding ways to apply our skills towards the objectives for the semester. Through this process, I discovered a lot about myself, my strengths, and my weaknesses. I’m a strong leader, everything I have done up until this point has prepared me to be a leader in some capacity. I like leading, being part of a team, and having a plan. These are all strengths, but they can also feed my desire to have control and they enable me to be too controlling.

The time I spent at Bilstein also led me to discover several things about the work environment and myself. Up until now, I had never really felt “different”. At Bilstein, I was one of very few females, and of those, I stood apart. I dressed differently, had very different interests and all around didn’t look like I “fit in” in the manufacturing environment. Realizing this, showed me that I needed to decide how much I cared. Did I want to be less of myself to fit in or could I get over the fact that I stood out?

To the same extent, I also realized that in being “different” I must work harder to earn the respect that I deserve in the workplace. Overall, I am too forgiving. I don’t just take what I want, I ask for it. I ask for permission too frequently, I rely too heavily on other’s opinions of my work, and I apologize far too much. I understand the workplace boundaries and I hardly push the limits. I know that I have great potential and I know that I want to be a leader in future companies that I am a part of. But, do I need to change myself to achieve that? I am in a constant battle over deciding if I have asked for too much or if I should just be grateful for the opportunities I have been given. But there’s the catch, I haven’t been given the opportunities. I have done the work to earn them.

Either way, co-op has opened my eyes to several personal dilemmas that I am now grappling with, learning and growing from. I am grateful for what it has taught me about myself, but it has cut my work out for me in a sense of where I have room to grow. Apart from all of that, I had a fantastic co-op experience. For my future, I hope to continue to grow from experiences like this, but not to compromise who I am. I believe that I will be successful in the future if I continue to work hard and to take advantage of these opportunities.

Until next year,
Alexis Begnoche